My 8 yo little guy had a rough time tonight. We were at an adult birthday party that in turn had a lot of kids present. The only kids my son knew were his little brother and 3 cousins. At one point, they were all screaming and running wild in the house while the majority of adults were conversing in the garage away from the chaos in the small house. I heard my son cry but only briefly and in a manor that usually means he did not get his way. When I called his name he never came to me but he had stopped crying. The mass playtime continued. An older child came into the kitchen where I was and told me that my son was coving his ears and crying. I immediately went and found him balled up in a bed and extremely upset. I quickly removed him from the room and took him back into the kitchen with me. He sat on my lap for about 30 minutes and had me hold my hand over one ear while the other was against my chest. He told me that he wanted to go home so he could get his (stuffed) puppy and be safe. He has never been so overwhelmed that he couldn’t respond or come find me for comfort. I just felt so bad that I assumed he was ok since I couldn’t hear him crying. We took some birthday cake to go and went home so he could decompress. It has also been a while since he has gotten into a meltdown that required me to help him calm down. I’m so lucky that he is honest and able to communicate what he needs when things get hard. When we got home all 3 of us cuddled up on my bed with my heating blanket on and watched tv until he was relaxed enough for bedtime. I guess I wanted to share this to tell others that understand the struggle that even level 1 autism and ADHD brings. I feel like such an outsider with my family because my son is the only special needs kid out of the 23 nieces and nephews and only the 2nd in my total family. Some think I baby him or that I have even made up that he is autistic because he is “high functioning” and just a brat. I have one sister that has preached about vaccines for years and completely changed the subject when I told her and another sister. She won’t even address it and I’m sure she thinks I caused it because I am pro-vaccine(I’m not trying to start a vaccine debate). I just don’t have many people that truly understand. If you have read this far I thank you. We are not alone in the neurodiverse community. Again I thank you for reading.**pic of my little guy and his sudden urge to sit on a giant bear at Walmart while eating his crackers.
I truly understand my daughter have meltdowns will cry and cover her ears she’s almost 6 i truly understand and my daughter would love that bear omg God bless you have a good night
Im sorry to hear he had a rough time. He Sounds like sounds like such a sweet little guy. You are a great mother and just know there are people out there that support you and understand. I don’t have autism but I have ADHD. My boyfriend has both autism and ADHD (also high functioning) so to a certain extent we both understand
I have a little brother Jose he is Autistic and god bless you lots of prayers come your way a big hug for you and your little boy
Very relatable to my 6-year-old daughter. You did amazing in this situation and no one will understand until they have their own child with the same needs. It’s not babying them. It makes them feel safe and comfortable. I support you!
Such a sad story with a great ending. Been there. Done that with my son… it takes a special momma to have a special child
My daughter is level 3 autistic and we’ve had many experiences like this. Never gets easier to have to leave a family function or anywhere In general. It’s all so overwhelming for us as parents but you amazing just remember that do whatever your little man needs
How cute! Everything will work out. My guy just turned 22. He went through many of these situations along the way. Just be there for him always. Lots of love to your family!!
I just want to say…you are an amazing mother. Not all parents would remove themselves from the situation for there child’s sanity. Mine never did and I was left to cry in all sorts of places, so much so it’s given me life-long trauma. I understand if you feel alienated from your family but your doing the right thing making sure HE doesn’t feel alienated from YOU. Understanding and compassion is all we need and I have so much faith for your sons future with you as his mother and that’s only from a tiny glimpse. All my love to you and your family 🧡
Morven Dyker I’m sorry you went through that. I have a lot of anxiety and trauma from childhood as well. I completely understand social anxiety and how one second everything is fine and the next I am in flight mode. I just want to leave or stop whatever I am doing. This gives me some insight as to how my son feels when he gets overwhelmed. He is not alone and I’m so glad to be there when he needs me.
I hope he is better now sometimes places like that have a hard time on kids. Your sister raises her kids and you raise yours. I believe in vaccines but I would never say something to another parent for their choices. There is no book on parenting if there was it’s just a book no one truly knows what is best for kids we just do our best raising ours. You are doing a fine job as a parent keep it up.
I didn’t get diagnosed until I was nearly 20. I had many years of sitting through parties and “family” gatherings being overwhelmed and sitting in the quietest corner I could waiting for it all to be over because I was so overwhelmed, it caused a lot of childhood trauma. My brother on the other hand is also autistic and was diagnosed when he was a toddler (I think?). Everyone helped him and his needs and when I’d try to communicate my struggles or frustration, I’d get told my brother is autistic and he needs extra help. I got told that nearly every week of my life until I was diagnosed. Family members can be extremely horrible about autism and have the worst opinions. But you are an amazing mum and he will forever be grateful to have you.
Carolanne Smith I’m so sorry that you went through that. My youngest son is most likely ADHD and I have always had a suspicion that I am as well. I had no idea that some of the stuff I experienced as a child and even an adult were tied to ADHD. So, I try to be aware of the needs of each child and I would never brush off my youngest because he doesn’t have a diagnosis yet. I know how awful is to feel overwhelmed and trapped and to be ignored or told to get over it. I hope that things have gotten much better for you and that your family is aware of your needs.
I completely understand what your son is feeling. I’ve had the same experience many times. I’m glad that he has ways to calm himself when feeling this way
He’s lucky to have such a loving family. Sweet prince.
Awe you are a fantastic mum. Why on earth would you make something like that up. Keep doing a fab job xx
My child isn’t vaccinated at all and has autism….so your sister is wrong. I am sorry you don’t have a supportive family, I know that is very hard, just keep being the amazing mother that you are!
Candi Mittauer De-Jesus
My grandson is “complicated”. The neurologist said he not autistic but I think he’s high functioning with ADHD. The problem is my SNL ignores his symptoms and won’t get him help. I pray for miracles every day, all day. My daughter, his mommy passed in September 2020 or he’d still be living with uSharon Nicholls
I understand and you are fantastic he’s lucky to have you xxx
Hannah Marie Eddy
I completely understand sending hugs to you and your lil man my family did same to me
Hannah Marie Eddy it’s so dang irritating. They can choose to ignore what we go through but we don’t get that privilege. Autism is built into our everyday life and I wouldn’t change the person my son is. He is one of the most genuine people I know.
I can definitely relate. My 11 year old is very sensitive to loud noise and lots of people. The only remedy for him is for me to comfort him, as you did with your son. I completely understand. You are not alone.❤
Don’t beat yourself up because you didn’t hear him cry, you were giving him freedom to play in a safe environment which is very important, hes a lucky boy to have such a lovely mam and lots of Cousins who will continue to have his back as they get older xxxxxx
I have had a similar situation and the labeling from family is painful. Thank you for sharing.
I’m so sorry for you both for having to experience this I know the feeling I have the same problem. I’m. The only one with a son that has autism and parties get me stressed out for him I think you did the right thing to leave and don’t feel bad it’s a human reaction you had
It’s nice to be in a group that understands each other and the everyday struggles. You’re a good mom and anyone else’s input isn’t needed.
Natasha Lopez luckily, I have a pretty thick skin when it comes to opinions from my family. I know that everything I do for my family comes with their best interest at hand. It just really sucks to have very little support from loved ones. This group has been a great place for me to share. I am so very appreciative of the support I get even from total strangers. ❤️
Shelby Roberts journey
I found this group seeking support and understanding.
I feel so judged by everyone and it drains me. It feels like we always have to explain everything . I have no support and just starting the journal with my 5 year old. He is non verbal and is starting to pick up on words now. Sending lots of love from my family to yours . We got this! 💕
Brandy Lynn Reed
My daughter is 9 years old and if there is a lot of noise/commotion she gets extremely overstimulated and a lot of times it can cause meltdowns for her. She has her baby blanket which is the blanket I bought for her right before she was born. That blanket is her comfort. She also has a stuffed animal and a weighted blanket. When she gets over stimulated her baby blanket stuffed animal and weight blanket or her go to things and if we go out somewhere I make sure that her baby blanket is with us as well as her tablet and a set of headphones. If there’s a lot of noise she’s able to put her headphones on and she will listen to music and drown out all the other noise. So maybe when you go out somewhere that is going to have a lot of noise and or commotion, bring something with you that gives your child a sense of safety/security that way if he does get over stimulated, he will have something with him that can help calm him down and make him feel safe.
Brandy Lynn Reed we usually have a tablet or his stuffed puppy with us as well. He was so excited to go that he forgot his puppy. 😩
Even with my son having more severe autism, I have relatives that ask me if I whip him enough or hard enough for him to know that his meltdowns or stimming is wrong. I don’t punish him for being overwhelmed or rocking and hand flapping. He shouldn’t have to be ashamed of who he is. Keep up the good work with your son.
Anna Wolfingbarger that’s awful. You can’t discipline the autism out of him. He should be able to express himself even if it’s different from others.
I completely understand u. I have been told no such thing as autism just bad parenting. Then I remind all the struggles my kids face. How something so little as doing the food shop is a big thing because of crowds. The food situation, lack of sleep, watching the same programme on repeat everyday for years. Or not being able to hear ur child say they love u. Being a autism parent is hard we have grieved, blamed ourselves, the loss of life we think they have lost, the doing the normal things day in day out. Some people are just ignorant. U know what I love about autism it’s a condition that doesn’t judge, and only i mean only the special of the special are blessed with the gift and it’s takes special kind of adults to become autism parents xxx
Amy Nixon the grocery store is so bad at times. If it is just me and him things go more smoothly but add in his little brother and all of the people and things get more difficult. I also have social anxiety and that doesn’t help when the store gets very busy. Lack of sleep is still something that we battle. Thankfully as my son has gotten older his sleep patterns have gotten much better but it still very common that he gets up in the middle of the night. It’s ok if people don’t understand. I have learned that we don’t owe an explication to anyone and they can’t just take their opinion somewhere else.
Yeah it’s always tricky with functioning labels they never active describe an autistic person well enough I’m so sorry that that had to happen but it’s so wholesome knowing how well you treated the situation and that he felt better💞💞
Spectrum but would never know it with 11 year old love him so much
Elaine Ivey- Nelson
Get him some noise cancelling headphones..if he likes a kids tablet to watch his videos when u all go for visits..let him take it with him..
Charlene Marella Mc
I felt like this too that my family thought I was making it that my boy was being naughty even the doctor that saw him said it was just bad behaviour but not to my face instead she sent me to parenting and it was them that told me 🙄 he has the ADHD test on Friday 18th and I’m still waiting in ASD assessment. This has been going on three years now am just glad to be apart of this group and wonderful mums like you sharing 💜💜💜
Charlene Marella Mc my son is also ADHD. He was not diagnosed until he was almost 7. So it’s been a big learning curve for the last 1.5 years. Most of things we have already been doing but navigating school has been a challenge.
Charlene Marella Mc
Shelby Roberts to be honest I’ve managed and had more tips etc from these groups and researching myself. Corey has a psychologist coming into school to see him so I’m waiting to speak to her to move forward. Health service is a joke and no help at all. School has been great although Corey feels everyone picks on him he’s no concept of others emotions and his social skills aren’t great learning curve for me too as how to reassure him and make him feel better about it
Happy birthday cutie pie
Rose Bigrose Martinez
Me myself i never heard of levels…I don’t label my son as a level….but they do get overwhelmed and it’s sad wen ppl just don’t get it my nick will15 in March and he NO LEVEL HIS JUST NICK
Rose Bigrose Martinez that’s exactly what I see with my son. Level? High functioning? Can he just be Daniel without a label? I use the terms very seldomly. I have been told that both are offensive just like some really hate the puzzle piece. When we got his diagnosis, I was not given a level and had to figure that out after being asked by others.
Rose Bigrose Martinez
Shelby Roberts IT HURTS MY HEART TO HEAR THAT LEVEL ….TO ME AND IM JUST SAYING
YOU MEET ONE CHILD WITH AUSTIM ,U MEET HIM OR HER …NO 2 ARE EVER THE SAME …MY NICK WAS 18MOS AND NOW HIS IN HIGH SCHOOL DOING GREAT AND I STAND PROUD AND STRON LOSSING FAMILY AND FRIENDS CUZ I CANT GO TO THINGS IS OK CUZ HE COMES FRIST ALWAYS AND IF HIS SCARED THEN ILL STAY HOME …BUT NICK IS MY ONLY PIRORTY NOT ONE PERSON ON THIS EARTH MATTERS BUT HIM
Ohhhh honey, your son is so lucky to have an amazing, understanding and smart mother. Family can in fact be very difficult when they can’t imagine something without going through it themselves. Yes, we have to love our family but not always like them!!! You just do you and what’s best for your son. That’s the only thing that matters. They do not live your precious life. Too bad. HUGE hugs to you! And your son! ❣️❣️❣️❣️🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
Very alone in my family as well. Prayers to you, stay strong
Rosa Rodriguez ((Hugs))
Shelby Roberts right back to you hun!
It’s never easy with a high functioning child…
Michael Paul Miilu
Don’t feel bad. I. Glad things worked out in the end.
He may benefit with headphones and a weighted blanket
Michael Paul Miilu
Teresa Stewart I just bought a weighted blanket for me and can’t believe the difference.